good for you, Mark Cuban.

last night Rob was giving me updates on the WNBA's draft. 

a friend of ours had a sister in the draft and we were watching to see when & where she would go. 

I must be honest and say that I have never actually watched an entire WNBA game. 

but to be fair, I don't watch the NBA either. 

I really, really dislike the NBA-but that is a whole other story. 

Anyway, 

I don't talk about it much here on this blog, 

but I love basketball. 

Some--if not MOST-- of my absolute favorite memories involve this beloved game. 

playing on the patio at the farm.

playing pick-up with my dad and brothers in the Quonset.

summers traveling the state of Kansas for tournaments. 

watching my brothers play at the state tournament.

4 years of college basketball including 2 trips to the national tournament.

a father/daughter trip to the Women's NCAA Final 4 in Indianapolis.

(2005-I look so young!)

the game has brought me much joy. 

but it has also left me striving and having to "prove" myself. 

I grew up playing with boys. 

where I came from, that was who played. 

there were very few girls that ever played pick-up or wanted to pass time in the gym. 

so if I wanted to play, I played with the guys.
and some guys were cool with this.
but many were not.
they wouldn't pass a ball to a girl.
they didn't want to guard me or have me guard them.

that was,
until I had proven that I could hang. 

so, there is story coming out of this year's women's draft that really strikes a chord with me.

Mark Cuban-owner of the Dallas Mavericks

invited Brittney Griner to tryout for his NBA team. 

she turned it down and said she was perfectly happy to go as the #1 overall pick to the WNBA.

There is so much about this that makes me happy and proud to be a female athlete. 

First, an invitation was extended. Good on you, Mark Cuban.
He recognized her abilities and leveled the playing field. I'm assuming this was a tremendous compliment to Brittney.
We women are often left trying to prove that we deserve a place on the court, on the field, in the workplace.
It often leaves us striving.
Which is exhausting. 

so, what I love even more than the fact that Brittney was invited, 

was that she turned it down. 

 I LOVE that she said "thanks, but no thanks" to the invitation. 

that she is content to play with other women.

(Brittney Griner, source: Nytimes.com)

I'm not here to beat the "women are equal in every way" drum, 

because I know that when it comes to physical characterics we are not.

 My husband is bigger, faster, and stronger than me. 

(just don't make me say that out loud to him :) ha! )

what I am here to say is this:

Women, we have our place. 

Let's keep going for it. 

We don't need to strive so hard, 

but we also don't need to back down. 

just BE.

be the best version of yourself.
and don't ever let any man (or woman)
stop you from pursuing THAT goal. 

the world needs you.
 

from the mouth of babes

one way that we have handled waiting for our own children,

is taking time to enjoy the children that ARE currently in our life.

and because we are in "that" stage of life--

ya know, the one where everyone & their mom is having a kid 

(okay, okay..no one's MOM is having a kid)--
there is never a shortage. :)

it has not been difficult to find some cute kids to love on and laugh at. 

in fact, this winter at a tabor basketball game,
the alumni office was handing out pom-poms to children.
as I walked by the table,
someone who knows me
--she sees me on a weekly basis--
offered me a pom-pom for "your little one."
when I informed her that I did not have any children,
 she looked shocked and commented that she sees me holding one all the time.
 true. I just borrow them.

lydia and I are BFF's.
I love getting quality time in with her and watching her personality continue to grow.
she is full of life.

she says the most hilarious things. 

and yet buried within the humor,
is so much truth and beauty.

yesterday I hung out with her for a couple of hours. 

while we were playing, the sun peeked out from behind the clouds and she said:

"oh, hey! there you are, God!"

she also really likes to make up songs. 

at first, yesterday's song seemed completely random to me. 

but then, as I watched the video over again, 

I realized how much wisdom

came from her 2 year old mouth.

yes, sweet Lydia-girl, we should all SHOUT for joy and do our share.
:)

I have a lot of waiting before me.
in the midst of this season of waiting I will continue to
shout of joy & do what I can.
I will enjoy the blessings of friendships and children,
making memories with my beautiful nieces & nephews.
I will fill out paperwork and answer a ridiculous # of personal questions.
I will do my "share"-what I can in this moment.
I will pray for my babes until the day that I can bring them home.
and I will do so with as much joy as the Lord gives me.
I will choose joy. and do my share.


 

 

if you, too, find yourself in a season of waiting for something, 
make sure you look for the blessing that might be hiding. 

they may come in the form of a 2-year-old's silly song. 

how to you handle waiting? what have you found helpful in seasons of wait?
   

feeling the love

wow. 

over the past few weeks, we have really felt the love from those around us. 

as we announced our adoption 

and opened up our first fundraiser,

you all have been amazing.

(thanks, KT!)

people have prayed for us, 

been excited with us, 

encouraged us, 

bought coffee,

made donations, 

and just been with us.

it's been fun to have people send/post pictures of their coffee as it arrived. 

this really IS a box full of love. 

you have no idea.
(Thank you, Jo!)

Hello, Sunshine!

(Thanks, Myles & Anna!)

I can't wait for their sweet little curly haired babe to play with our kiddos. 

another generation of cousin-love.

everyone has had really positive things to say about the coffee. 

so yummy!

(Thanks, Beth!)

you can get your own by clicking below. 

www.justlovecoffee.com/HaudeAdoption

thanks for showing us the love! 

Have a great weekend!

much love,

R&E

P.S. We have raised nearly $250 from coffee sales already. Just wanted to keep you all posted. :)

what march looked like

this is what my March looked like:

the first weekend of the month I took a solo road trip back to Colorado. 

I realized that it was the first long trip I'd taken by myself in years. 

it was really, really wonderful. 

don't get me wrong, 

I love traveling with my hubby, 

but it was just really great to have all that time to just think and pray and talk on the phone and listen to this book on my kindle. so, so good. 

I drove to ft. collins and stayed the night with kristen. 

we ate breakfast and spent the day walking & shopping in the sunshine.

 

 

glorious. look at that sunshine. 

saturday I drove down to Denver and stayed with the lovely Holmes family. 

their house is one of my favorite places. 

probably because they are one of my absolute favorite families. 

and emily has really awesome style. :)

we ate yummy food and laughed and had great conversation. 

it was goooooood. 

 

i apparently forgot to take ANY pictures though. 

boo. 

monday of that weekend I had a three hour coffee date with taryn. 

she's awesome. 

her and her husband mentored rob and I for over a year. 

it was transformational for us. and we love them dearly. 

on my way out of town, 

I visited Excelsior for a few hours

and was reminded once again why I LOVED working there. 

I miss those people something fierce. 

it was seriously one of the best jobs ever. 

challenging? exhausting? difficult? yes. 

but still. I loved it. 

my weekend trip to Colorado was my early bday present to myself. 

and it was so great. so so great. 

as I drove back to Kansas I felt energized and refreshed. 

I also felt secure and confident, 

knowing that Kansas is "home" for us. and that it is GOOD.

but that I'll always have a place and piece of me in Colorado. 

which, it was really great that I came back feeling refreshed

because march was full of challenges emotionally. 

we JUMPED into the adoption process.

we contracted with our agency--and then I proceeded to freak out for about 24 hours.

we started working on our dossier--and I made a note book to keep my from panicking. 

 

 

we got fingerprinted and sent in all our back ground checks for our home study.

it's been a journey already!

and, you guys, we are only about 6 weeks in. yeesh!

this is what my nightstand looks like most of the time. 

 

and ever evolving mound of books. 

I added these to the piles, as well. 

my mom and brother also came to kansas for a visit. 

rob and I spent a weekend in wichita hanging out with them

and these cuties:

 

 love. love. love.

naked blonde baby.

finger sucking blonde boy. 

cuddles for all. 

so so great. 

for christmas I bought haven this DVD.

bahaha!

I loved this when I was a kid. 

sage, my brother, apparently did not. 

he does not even remember it. 

go to YouTube and type in Wee Sing in Sillyville. Do it. It's worth the laugh. 

and then you will understand why Mackoy was doing this:

"I'm SUPER FROG!"

 

"Have you ever seen a frog, walking a dog?!"

"A frog, walking a DOG?"

we may have sang those ridiculous songs for hours. 

i may or may not have video to prove it :)

I love being an aunt. 

and I can't wait for our kids to play with their cousins.

and giggle and dance and act silly with us. 

I dream of that day. 

 rob went to Cali for a week. 

my mom came to stay with me and we got busy on the basement. 

I spent lots of time with friends. 

I met new friends. 

like this lovely lady who is waiting and praying for her boys to come home from Ethiopia. 

I ran not enough miles in preparation for the half marathon on may 5.gulp.

march was full. 

march was good.

 march has come and gone.

 and here's to hoping that april is jsut as full. 

but maybe not quite as busy. 

maybe?

time with my mama

my mom came to spend a few days with me

while rob was out of town. 

it was wonderful. 

we started our time together at the salon. we both got a cut.

and I got a color. 

it was loooong overdue. 

I was lookin' rough. 

then we shared some yummy Mexi food 

and headed back to my casa.
where we got busy working. 

here's something I realized this weekend:

I get more done when my mom is around. 

I think I already knew this. 

in high school I used to beg her 
to come sit on my bed and talk to me while I cleaned my room. 

which, by the time I got around to cleaning it, 
was usually a disaster.
my house cleaning skills have really improved since then. 
on most days any way. 

 

I just liked having her company while I cleaned. 
talking. laughing. 
and usually she could be talked into folding a few things while she sat there :)

 

she's beautiful, huh?
yep.
I've got a good mama.

so this weekend we painted the entire basement.
and filled in the cracks on the great wall of paneling. (this involved a lot of sanding!)
and sanded/primed the basement ceiling.
AND got caught up on all the laundry. Hallelujah!
AND we cooked a meal for the 3 college boys living in the basement.

oh, and for the record,
in case you ever hear my husband argue differently,
I did at LEAST 4 loads/sink-fulls of dishes this week. at least.

productivity at its finest, folks.
brought to you by my dearest mother.

mom-
thanks for coming to stay with me. 
I loved my 1on1 time with you.
it was good for my heart.
and my house. 
I am so incredibly thankful for you.

I miss you already. 
love, 
your O&O :)

Just Love Coffee

We love us some coffee in the Haude family. 

We come by in naturally. 

Rob's dad drinks coffee all.day.long. 

even if it is 110 degress. 

no lie. 

Rob and I tend to be just-one-cup-in-the-morning kind of people. 

unless we make it to big city where there is a fancy coffee shop, 

at which point we like to treat ourselves to something in the afternoon. 

I worked in a coffee shop while in grad school. 

did you know that? 

well, now you do. 

and I can tell you the difference between a latte and a machiatto. 

and what breve, cappucino and all that fancy stuff means. 

I could even do latte art back in the day. 

yep. fancy-schmancy 'round these parts. 

So, do you love coffee?

or do you have someone in your life who does?

If so, we have a GREAT way for you to fuel you/their caffeine addiction  love for coffee

and SUPPORT OUR ADOPTION! 

woohoo!

our first fundraiser :) 

 here's how it works:

go to our Store at www.justlovecoffee.com/HaudeAdoption

 

click on the SHOP & SUPPORT button.

and shop away! 

If you want to know how much we get from each purchase, go HERE for a list of proceed amounts.

we're SO GLAD you stopped by :)

answers to questions we hear often these days

I figured it was time to give a few more details regarding our adoption.

I'm guessing there may be at least a few of you out there that wonder what in the world is going on?!

since adoption is something I have been interested in for a long time,
I have spent countless hours reading up on the different types and steps involved.
but I get that not everyone stalks adoption blogs or reads up on attachment issues in their free time :)
so, it only seemed fair to answer some questions.

here are some of the most frequently asked questions we field these days:

"Are you adopting domestically or internationally?"
Internationally.

which is followed quickly by a, "Why?" 
Honestly, once we made the decision to adopt, deciding where to adopt from was the most difficult question for me to settle in my heart. We felt really overwhelmed by the task of "selecting a child," which is what it felt like we were doing. Then a really wise friend  (who also happens to be an adoptive mama) encouraged us to approach this decision by asking:  

What child do you feel that you and Rob are 

best equipped to parent at this point in your life? 

and this question was a game changer for us. While I was working as a therapist in residential treatment, I saw how desperately older children need families. But I also saw how difficult and unpredictable parenting those children could be. I desperately see the need and there is something in my heart that longs to meet that need. But we had to be realistic about where we are currently at, and since we are going to be new to this whole parenting thing, we are going to have enough unpredictability on our hands. ha! So, for us--at this point in our life--it settled that we wanted to adopt as young as possible. 

so. and "infant" it is. 

you hear infant and you think fresh from the womb. 

well, in the world of adoption, and infant is really any baby 12 months or younger. 

the question then became WHERE.

we spent time reading about different countries that currently have adoption programs with the United States, as well as, researching infant adoption in the US. For whatever reason, God really led us toward international adoption. That is where our attention was focused and where we felt our hearts were leading us. After looking into different program requirements and the ages of children available, we settled on Ethiopia. 

Yes. we know that this means we will become a multiracial/multicultural family. 

Yes. we know there are challenges that will come from being a multiracial/multicultural family. 

Yes. we recognize that not everyone will necessarily "agree" with this decision. 

and YES we are sure. 

this does not mean that there are not moments when I feel anxious about being able to parent children that look different from me. Sure. I do. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't have moments of doubt.

but I also KNOW that God is in this and that growing our family through adoption and becoming a diverse family will be beyond beautiful. 

We recognize that we have a lot to learn and will need to rely on others to help educate us and our children in this area. That is part of what excites me--learning and loving and being open a community bigger than us. 

"Do you have a baby picked out for you yet?"
No. We have not been matched with a baby.
We are still several months from being ready to receive a referral.
Here is a general timeline for families adopting with our agency right now.
As of now, we have been told that the following time frames are "average"

this picture is of the hubs and I the morning we sent off our application and contract to IFS. eek!

Step 1: Choose an agency, apply with agency and be accepted. Check!
Step 2: Complete Home Study & Dossier
(read: spend countless hours completing massive amounts of paperwork). It usually takes around 2-3 months for this step to be completed. We are days into this step... so pray for us!

Step 3: Send Dossier (with home study) to Ethiopia where it is translated and processed by the Ethiopian government (MOWA).

Step 4: REFERRAL! From the time our dossier arrives in Ethiopia until we receive a referral will be any where from 2-4 months (again, we are working with averages, people. and this could change. we know that.)

Step 5: Accept referral and pay the remainder of our program fees. EEK!

Step 6: Court date in Ethiopia! Travel to Ethiopia where we will appear before Ethiopian court and the adoption will be finalized. We will officially be parents! From referral to court date is approximately 3-5 months.

Step 7: The child, though adopted, can not leave Ethiopia until the case is cleared by the Embassy. Once the case passes the Embassy, we will bring our babes home! Average time from court date to Embassy clearance is anywhere from 6 weeks to 3 months. So, we'll be counting on you all to be praying. hard. that it is closer to 6 weeks. :)


Which means that we are about 10-12 months from having them home with us. 
We are holding this timeline very loosely, as we know that there are several factors that are out of our control, but we are also praying that this would be close to the truth.
Either way, we have a lot of waiting ahead of us. 
waiting. 
and paperwork. 

"How old will your child be when they come home?"
At the time of referral a child can be as young as 2 months, which means that they are anywhere from 8-10 months old when they come home for good.

"If you don't mind me asking, how much does adoption cost?"
I certainly don't mind you asking! In fact, I think it is important to educate people on ALL things adoption--including that it is a major financial and emotional and physical investment.

The rough estimate for international adoption is around $30,000.
Gulp.
Yep. It's a lot.
But we serve a really BIG God. 
And we are trusting in HIM to make this happen.
We will have fundraisers.
We will pinch pennies.

We will apply for grants.
We will pray for hearts to be led to give.

and we will give HIM all the glory.

We welcome your questions.
Honest.
Please feel free to send me an email (erica.haude@gmail.com) with questions about our adoption process, how you can get involved, or adoption things in general.

I am in no way an expert...yet :)...but I'm learning a lot each day.

thanks for reading.