beautiful things.

sometimes life feels hard. 

the reality is that there are hard things in life:

hard things to figure out,

to understand, 

to face. 

it's broken. 

but is also really, really beautiful.

life is full of joy, beauty, and all kinds of lovely things.
but it is also full of pain, heartache, grief, and all sorts of hard things.

this week I've been thinking about the hard things that lie before us.

the reality of adoption is that we will experience extreme joy as we bring children into our family,
but we will also need to be prepared to walk with them through some hard things.
adoption is born out of loss, pain, and grief.
there is a birth mom that will say goodbye to her baby.
my babies will have a story that begins before I was around,
and they will endure things that are hard and I won't be there to protect them.
their path to becoming our children does not come without cost.

This week I have grieved for them.
I have grieved for their first families.
I have even grieved for us, for me.

I skyped with a dear friend yesterday, and I said to her
"sometimes I just don't want to do hard."

it's true.

I get a little nervous when I think about what lies ahead.

it feels really unknown.
but then, I remember how BIG my God is,

and that he has called us to do hard things,
because He did hard things.

and He promises that His is present with us in the midst of hard things.

I got asked this week why I chose to go into counseling.

My answer was that I believe in healing and restoration,

and that it is an honor and privilege to get to walk with people as the find
freedom and joy in the midst of really hard things.


I met with a student this week-
they are COURAGEOUSLY facing some really, really hard stuff.
going places emotionally and walking through things that have been locked away a long time.
This week they said to me, "sometimes I just want a little slack, ya know. Why does it always have to feel so hard?'
As tears welled up in my eyes, I had no answer. no words.except this:

I told her that I heard her.

that she wasn't alone.
and then I told her that I had HOPE.

that she would not stay in this place of extreme brokenness.
that together we would face the hard things,
and find freedom and beauty and love and value. 

Often it takes walking through the hard to be able to appreciate the beauty.
As we walk through the hard, we find freedom and healing.
If we never experienced hard, then we would not fully grasp the lovely things lying on the other side.
I told her that I believed that things redeemed were often the most beautiful things;
things once broken that are transformed into something lovely.
I told her that that healing is worth the effort, the time, and the work.

and, you guys, I believe it.

in my core, I believe it.

and THIS is why we will adopt,
even though I know that there will be hard things.

out of the hard stuff will spring forth
relationships,
bonds,
stories,
experiences
and a life that is more beautiful than anything I can imagine.

so, we will press on.
into the hard places,
and the hard spaces.

we will do hard things. 

"Shout for joy, O heavens; rejoice, O earth;
burst into song, O mountains!
For the LORD comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones."
Isaiah 49:13