a long time coming

last week i finally broke down and went to the doctor.
i was in denial and did not want to admit that I was actually sick.
i really don't like going to the doctor.
and i'm horrible about taking medications.
i actually pride myself in being able to answer "NO" when they ask:
"are you currently taking any medications?"

but the evidence was stacking up against me:
it began with a deep, yucky cough;
that turned into some congestion.
after a few weeks of blaming it all on allergies,
i came down with a fever and sore throat.

and if the normal symptoms weren't enough to prove that I was actually sick,
there was a growing mound of wadded up kleenex on my night stand.
gross.
too much info?
naaaah.

so I found a doctor (who ended up being from Kansas! even a K-state fan! and I really liked her.)
I made an appointment.
where I listed all my symptoms.
a well formulated oration on why I needed her to write me a script.
yes, yes...i see the irony.
"no, doc, I don't take any meds. I'm super healthy. But I'm so sick that I need you to give me some high powered meds.and please, do so QUICKLY!"

well, after I returned home for the doctor I slept.
it had been 4 1/2 years since I had been sick.
and i took full advantage of the break.
Within a 24 hour period of time, I was asleep for 17 of those. yep. 17!
after lots of sleep,
lots of tylenol, (i may have exceeded the recommendation limit for 24 hours)
and some good ol' prescription drugs,
I am feeling MUCH better.

Praise Jesus! I know that HE is the great Physician.
but I'm sure glad that He gave people the brains for modern medicine. :)

p.s. the next post will have some pics :)

and I'm back in the game!

a couple weeks ago I got to see my wonderful in-laws.
we were talking about blogs (because that's what we do, people, that's what we do)
and my beautiful mother-in-law said: "I used to know a couple of people who blogged. Now I just know one who used to blog and another who does from time to time." HA!
yes, I was the latter.

and then...last weekend my husband actually said to me as we were driving to the mountains (more on that later): "you have not been a very faithful blogger."
don't worry, folks, it was said in good humor.

and THEN...my mother-in-laws status on facebook today (I know! isn't she so hip!?!):

Cindy Haude : Two little monkeys is back...where is everyday+venture?

I'm here! yep, that's right! right here! I was lost for awhile. but no worries...
"Aaaaand I'm back in the game!" (name that movie.)

it is so nice to know that a few people miss me out here in blogosphere :)
maybe now that I am blogging again, my husband will do a remake of this for me :)
hint-hint. this clip is from the aforementioned movie.

so, on another note. my favorite TV show is back on this fall.
PARENTHOOD!
i'm actually watching it right now. multi-tasking at it's FINEST.

I have some exciting posts in mind. illness. changing leaves. craft fair buy.
and i promise that at least ONE of those will materialize before the end of the week :)

promise.

homesick

in college there would be a few randoms Sundays when I would long for home.
lazy afternoons with my family,
usually involving a long nap and then junk for dinner
cereal and popcorn were my favorites.
thanks to this tradition, I still have issues with cooking on Sunday evenings.

this morning I woke up with a similar longing
only for a different home.
my church.

when I took my job at Excelsior in June
it meant that we could no longer attend Trailhead on Sunday evenings.
we talked and prayed about whether I should take the job,
but it just didn't seem to make any sense at all not to.
plus, I felt like it was totally God that got me the job.
having your "dream" job within a month of graduation is pretty unheard...in any economy. right?

all of that to say, I work at 4pm on Sundays.
Trailhead meets for worship at 5pm.
and this morning I am really missing that.

Trailhead was our home away from home for the first 2 years of marriage.
the people there walked with us as we tried to figure out how to be married, work, finish school, and have relationships with others.
they know us. and we know them.
it felt (feels!) like home.

which is why i feel homesick.
i miss worshiping alongside people who know me, and still love me.
i miss sitting close to Rob and sharing a Bible while we listen to the teaching.
i miss communion and the intimacy of our services. dim lights. free from rules and judgment.
i even miss working in the nursery and watching our friends babies grow from month to month.

and yet, I know that God has a plan.
i'm sure of that.
i sense that he has something in store for us in the church department;
i'm just not sure how to go about figuring that out.

i'll (try to) be patient.
and pray.
and visit churches in the meantime (boo.)
and hope that God shows us what His plan is when the time is right.

foolishness

i've been slacking in the blogging department lately.

one time, i told my sis-in-law that I was going to blog Monday thru Friday...
like my blog idol, whatever.

that's the name of the blog.
and how i feel about my consistency with blogging.
whatev. :)

i could list some reasons why i haven't blogged
like I've been coughing for 10 days and not feeling well.
or i've been busy cleaning my house and making 3 course meals every night. HA!

but the truth is I've just been a bit lazy.
this working full time thing. whew.
i keep thinking I'm going to get better at the whole schedule thing.
and i guess I am. have. but still feel like there is more to do than I have time and/or energy for.

and i don't have kids. yet. yikes!
someday I will have kids.
and I'll figure out the balance when that change happens.
but for now I'm just trying to figure out the balance of working full time, being a wife, friend, etc.
my weeks are starting to have a rhythm to them. I like rhythm. :)

I also still like my job.
it is challenging. I have some really tough clients and families.
But God is so good and He is really opening up some doors and giving me good insight.
I have been able to connect with the girls and I see growth in them.
which is really cool.

wanna know something else that is cool?
yesterday I found out that there is another Christian therapist in the building.
In fact, the girl who told me she was a Christian said, "oh yeah! she really loves Jesus. a lot."

Just the way she said "She loves Jesus," got me thinking.
There is something about loving Jesus that feels different that saying, "I love God."
I know, I know. Jesus is God and God is Jesus.
But in our "all paths lead to heaven" society, God is politically correct. Or at least more politically correct than JESUS.

Talking about JESUS with someone who isn't a Christian is still really intimidating for me.
I can talk about God, especially God as the Creator, the Truth, Love.
But Jesus...well, that is just foolishness.

isn't it....

this morning I was reading in 1 Corinthians where Paul writes to the Christians at Corinth:

"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God....For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength."
1 Corinthians 1: 18, 25

I get that. Honestly, I battle feeling like a fool often. Thinking that if people knew how much I loved Jesus they would think I was crazy.
ignorant.
judgmental.
weak.
silly.
weird.
strange.
Gosh, I don't know what they would think.
But I am not the first person to battle these feelings.
It was obviously an issue a couple thousand years ago when Paul was writing this letter.
And I found encouragement and confidence in Paul's words.

So this morning I prayed that I would be one big FOOL.
That I would embrace the foolishness of Christ.
And that God would give me the courage to live as Christ and love as Christ. all the time. in all I do.

wanna be a fool with me?
i think it's totally worth it.