in my draft box

I found this in my draft box from last October.
I don't remember writing it,
and I'm not sure what stopped me from posting it then.
but in light of how I've been feeling lately,
I've decided to post it. 

we were in kansas this weekend. 

it was good. 

there is something about being with people who know you. 

good. bad. ugly. 

i saw a friend that i hadn't seen in over three years. 

i got to hug her and talk to her and laugh with her.

it made me miss home. 

i know home in many ways home is denver. 

with rob. 

where we are together. 

yet...my roots go deep in kansas. 

and i am okay with that.

Crazy. On so many levels. 
Last October I longed for Kansas.
And yet sensed we were staying in Denver.
This October I long for many things about Colorado, 
yet sense that we are suppose to be in Kansas. 

Not sure what this means. 
about me.
about God.
about life. 

I guess I'll just take it as it is. 
and be thankful.
and choose to see the beauty in living in a place that I have roots. 
I'm still excited about rebuilding the friendship with the friend mentioned above. 
who knows what God has in store there. 
but I do know that God is at work. 

in my heart. 
in my life. 
in those around me. 

and I'll choose to see that
even on my most difficult of days.